…So, in the end, the fleshing of herself, the Skeleton Woman enacts the entire creation process, but rather than beginning as a baby, in the way Westerners are taught to think about life and death, she begins as bones and fleshes out her life.
She teaches the man to make new life. She shows him the way of the heart is the way of creation. She shows him that creation is a series of births and deaths. She teaches that protectionism creates nothing, selfishness creates nothing, holding on and screaming effects nothing. Only letting go, giving heart, the great drum, the great instrument of the wild nature, only that creates.
That is how love relationship is meant to work, each partner transforming the other. The strength and power of each is untangled, shared. He gives her heart drum. She gives him knowledge of the most complicated rhythms and emotions imaginable. Who knows what they will hunt together? We only know that they will be nourished to the end of their days. ~Clarissa Pinkola Estes Women Who Run with the Wolves Chapter 5 Hunting: When the Heart is a Lonely Hunter
Peter and I are celebrating our 11 year Wedding Anniversary on October 22, 2017 and have learned and grown so much in our shared time together. It has been a gift beyond anything either of us had ever imagined and we are so grateful. Here is a brief look at our Secret Wedding.
The Secret Wedding
I am forever grateful to be involved in a conscious equal partnership with my beloved Peter Klein. Our commitment to engaging healthy relationship in respectful, aware ways has not always been easy but it certainly has been well worth the journey. Peter and I were secretly joined in Sacred Union on October 22, 2006 at a Long Canyon medicine wheel in Sedona, Arizona.
We choose the date because it was less than 24 hours after the Libra New Moon and Venus (sacred feminine) and Mars (sacred masculine) were together with the Sun (the source) in the last degrees of Libra, the primary archetype focused on the path of conscious equal partnership. From a Shamanic Astrology perspective Venus and Mars were off the world stage.
Said another way they were not visible in either the morning or evening sky so they were not visible in our middle world reality. When this occurs it symbolizes a time when Venus and Mars are not engaged in the beliefs connected to the old relationship paradigm, but rather are with the Sun sourcing new ways of expressing sacred union.
Symbolically we saw this as the perfect Time for sourcing a new relationship paradigm of conscious equal partnership and sacred union that was NOT subject to any opinions or beliefs about marriage. Since Peter and I both had previous marriages we felt it was important to hold a strong intention for a new context to experience a deeply committed relationship.
That is why we chose to do a secret wedding with a very clear and strong intention for our sacred marriage without overlays, either conscious or unconscious, from what others might imagine marriage is or isn’t – ranging from an idealistic, all the way to a fatalistic perspective.
The Timing for the Ceremony
There were only three people who attended our wedding ceremony; the person officiating and two witnesses, all sworn to secrecy for the next year and a day. Again the secrecy was about holding our ceremonial intent in a sacred trust to give the intention time to establish itself fully in the middle world without interference (conscious or unconscious) from the old paradigm.
The wedding ceremony took place the day after a 28 degree Libra New Moon and as already mentioned included a very close Venus and Mars conjunction (both in Libra within a degree). At the time of the ceremony, almost 20 hours after the exact New Moon, the Moon had moved into Scorpio, the perfect signature for a secret wedding. 🙂
This is because Scorpio understands the value of keeping a secret when it is serving a sacred intent to help focus and empower the energy of that intent so the momentum continues to grow over time. It is similar to the idea of planting a seed in the ground where it is not seen, where it is protected, so it can grow into something vital and sustainable. (Plus we are both Scorpio Rising so the Scorpio Moon also helps to inform our personal and collective intent.)
Sharing Our Secret
A year and a day after our ceremony we did begin sharing with friends and family that we had secretly gotten married. Though we didn’t share about it much beyond that until about four years later….in September 2010 as I was completing the October Celestial Timings I found myself unexpectedly rewriting the introduction I had already written to share about our secret sacred union.
This was motivated by the re-union of Venus and Mars in the evening sky at that time (Venus and Mars that month in Libra before they both moved into Scorpio).
The feedback on this sharing was delightful and inspiring so I decided to re-post this here in hopes that it might further inspire others who are consciously engaging their own Sacred Union process regardless of whether it is with an external beloved, or the Inner Other, or both.
The commitment Peter and I made to our sacred union back in 2006 has been a wondrous and sometimes challenging journey through many ups and downs – especially when we have encountered our fears and past wounds that we committed to clearing. Not always fun but definitely a worthy gift that we treasure more everyday.
Celebrating our 11 year anniversary in 2017 I am happy to share that our relationship is better than ever, a testament to how together we have created a sacred journey that continues to delight.
Committing to Sacred Union
Inspired by the book Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks Peter and I borrowed the idea of creating commitments for our sacred union rather than vows to each other.
What follows are the main commitments (some are borrowed directly from Conscious Loving) Peter and I made to ourselves and each other. I invite you to consider either using the commitments as they are below or to rewrite them in a way that works for you and your beloved other. Or, if you are doing this for yourself – you can change the language to reflect your individual commitment to being your own best partner.
The statements below represent the essence of what Peter and I committed to on October 22, 2006…
We commit to:
- Our complete personal development as an individual so we can show up fully in our relationship together
- Clearing up and transforming whatever prevents us from fully showing up and fully loving ourselves so that we can love each other without projections or expectations
- Continuing to move fear and shadow stuff, revealing all of who we are for the purpose of going further up and deeper into our relationship with each other – even when we feel scared and want to run away
- Acting from the awareness that we are each 100 percent the source of our reality – and the other is a mirror that helps us to know how well we are doing with creating our reality (even when we aren’t liking what the other is mirroring and especially when we are liking it)
- The healthy full empowerment of ourselves and each other and all those around us
- Having a really REALLY good time (fun, fun, fun) in our relationship and all our other close relationships
- Making each other a priority and sending each other our best energy and love each and every day
- Our sacred union as a path to fulfill our divine purpose individually and together
It IS done and it IS So and we give thanks!
Update October 2017
Love is a powerful force. If we do not now how to handle its power, we slip very quickly into its powerfully painful distortions, such as conflict and co-dependence. But know this: It is resistance to love that causes the problems. There is nothing wrong with love. Love is a force that focuses its light on the deepest shadowy parts of ourselves that we desperately try to keep hidden. When these parts of ourselves emerge we often retreat, blaming love and those who have loved us…
…We hope that you will use your relationships to fulfill undreamed-of potential in yourself. It will help if you commit yourself completely to this process now at the beginning. The most creative and evolved people we know are those who use every situation as an opportunity to learn about themselves. Openness to learning is a hallmark of evolution. It makes learning and acknowledging even the most soul-shaking facts about yourself easier and more fun. With a strong commitment to inquiring into yourself, the universe does not have to use catastrophes to wake you up.
~ Conscious Loving The Journey to Co-commitment by Gay and Kathleen Hendricks.
Having made specific commitments as described above to each other – inspired by Gay and Katie’s book Conscious Loving we have found our relationship has become more magical and amazing every year.
Yes, we have had our challenging moments. Yes, we have had to face our deeper fears and look at our control programs and what we project. Yes, we have had issues to work through. It hasn’t been an easy path but it has been powerfully activating and fulfilling and we love each other more now than when we stood in the Red Rocks of Sedona and committed to a Conscious Loving Relationship and Life Together all those years ago.
Some of the most powerful personal work anyone can do is in relationship to a significant other. Peter and I are so grateful to have each other as we navigate “our personal stuff” with each other. It is a gift beyond worldly measure!
To fully appreciate this gift we choose to whole-heartedly receive it and cherish it.
It helps to be willing to notice what we have denied in ourselves, to be open to seeing what is being reflected or mirrored to us in our outer world through the eyes of the other.
If we have judgment towards self or others, if we are working to control outcomes, or repressing feelings, or a myriad of other things that diminishes our ability to love ourselves, to love each other and to love life, then the depth of fulfillment possible is not attainable.
A worthy question is: are you willing to commit to the path of genuine personal growth and well-being with a beloved other, even when the going is more challenging than you imagined?
Having been in two marriages that completed because the other wasn’t willing to show up for the relationship anymore it is important to remember that unless both partners are equally committed to this journey it probably won’t be as fulfilling and very likely won’t work at all. When that happens a helpful strategy is to work on your relationship to yourself.
Here’s to everyone who desires to experience a fulfilling relationship having the opportunity to do just that!
Saturn was in Libra from 2009 to 2012 Seeding New FORMS for Relating
When Saturn first entered Libra October 12, 2009 and was in this sign until October 5, 2012 facilitating a process of collective growth and maturation accelerating the possibility of conscious equal partnership and relationship in the collective psyche of humanity.
It was interesting to witness this acceleration as old paradigm based relationships reached a breaking point, either breaking down and breaking apart or breaking down to come together in a more wholistic and fulfilling way.
It was also interesting to note the plethora of relationship workshops, classes, books, etc that flooded the consciousness communities back then and continue to do so. Clearly this is a subject that captures our attention and is part of our continued growth in maturing in our understanding that we are all connected and how we relate to each other and to the Earth is a key to our survival.
Then there was the Mars in Libra Quest from April 2014 to May 2016
This was when the Sacred Masculine was questing for how to consciously relate to the Sacred Feminine in healthier more alive ways.
September 9, 2016 to October 10, 2017 Jupiter is in Libra
This was a time for further expanding relational themes that have shown up in the last few years.
What new vision can you embrace that allows you to experience the most fulfilling possibilities in your most personal relationships?Print This Post